Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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