My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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