I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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