why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
