Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
