we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
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IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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