Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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