All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize