There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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