I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just had sex on a roof
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
