You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
