what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
