I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
