Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
