I could make wine with my vomit
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This house was built for laser tag.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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