I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
