whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
home. puking in laundry basket.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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