so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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