idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
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I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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