let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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