I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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