My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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