this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
