I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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