yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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