I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
