She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize