I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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