I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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