I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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