i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
