I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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