I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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