You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My ATM looks so different sober.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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