and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
