we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
