Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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