you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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