if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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