I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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