Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize