What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My life is pants optional.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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