awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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