My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
