Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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