I'm going to jail i love you
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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