There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize