I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
