Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
