plz talk dirty to me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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