Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
