And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize