I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
