She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
