The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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