i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
