It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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