I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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