So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize